Friday, May 15, 2020

[Chapter 57] Love in Another Life: My Gentle Tyrant




“I only have one question for you, you don’t want this child right?”

Seeing her lowered gaze, and the hand that gently rested on her stomach, Long FeiLi suddenly couldn’t look away.

He forcefully tore his eyes away from her and responded.

“Correct”

“En” Although she already knew his answer, it still felt like her heart was being cruelly twisted. XuanJi smiled and stroked her flat belly.

“Long FeiLi, I want to keep it, but I know that I don’t have the power to do so.”

“En, alright, maybe it’s better this way.” She felt her nose start to sting as teardrops tumbled from her eyes, she continued to mutter.

“It’s better this way, it’s better this way.”

If she were to have the child, she wouldn’t bear to leave him, how would she be able to escape?

Standing next to her, Long FeiLi’s hands were already balled into a tight fist within his sleeves, otherwise he would have already wrapped XuanJi in his arms. He had never been one to hesitate, no matter how difficult the situation, he was always able to take the next step needed.

But with her… he couldn’t find the resolve.

Reason told him that he couldn’t keep this child. According to his plans, the Nian family would soon be wiped out, at that time the decision of whether or not he would kill her would already be difficult enough, much less her child.

There has never been a woman like her who could cause him such confusion. Towards her, even he himself didn’t understand how he felt.

He had made his decision a long time ago, regarding Minister Nian, the Dowager Empress, and all his enemies in the capital. He would gamble his empire and his life with them and if he won he would take XinYi as his consort and proclaim her son his heir.

His fists were balled so tightly within his sleeves that it began to hurt, still he could not help but look at her face.

Suddenly, he saw her get up from the bed and put on her shoes, she had been undressed by the servants and was in only her undergarments. She slipped a light inner robe to cover up, but a sliver of skin still peeked out*, showing her delicate collarbone.

* TN: props to Long FeiLi for still being horny in this kind of situation.

She pulled Doctor Cui up from the floor and smiled gently at her.

“Go boil another bowl of medicine for me, make sure it’s a strong dose this time.”

“Consort Nian……”

The emperor had already spoken, but seeing the tears in XuanJi’s eyes, Doctor Cui felt unable to move.

XuanJi let go of her and leaned against the bed.

“Go, this should not be spoken of to others.”

XuanJi stared calmly at the floor before continuing in a low voice.

“Long FeiLi, I only ask you for one thing. Nian XuanJi was never pregnant, and Doctor Cui is not aware of any of this.”

Doctor Cui felt her heart heat up, she didn’t understand why the emperor wanted this child to die, but this was clearly a big secret. She knew that XuanJi was afraid the emperor would try to silence her for having witnessed this scene.

She looked toward the two of them then quickly exited the room.

The room was deathly silent. The man was surrounded by an icy aura, but XuanJi’s cold smile was also terrifying to behold. 

Although she felt more powerful standing up, her abdomen was starting to hurt, XuanJi slowly sunk down to the ground.

The child within her couldn’t be that big, it probably hasn’t even taken form yet, but they had to kill it. A strong sense of grief surged over her as she suddenly felt the urge to beg Long FeiLi,  beg him to spare the child, but the words wouldn’t leave her mouth.

He wouldn’t change his mind….

--Translation by LissuLand.com, if you are reading it elsewhere then it was stolen--

She lowered her head and gazed again at her flat stomach, tears dripped slowly down her face, blurring her vision until she could no longer see what was before her.

After a while, the sourness she felt finally became irrepressible, she could only bury her face into her arms and bite her wrist to keep from crying out.

The skin was broken and blood leaked into her mouth, her chest felt empty and hollow but she still wasn’t able to suppress the cries.

The air in front of her felt a bit strange, a heavy breathing sound was heard.

XuanJi bit her lip and lifted her head, only to see Long FeiLi half crouching on the floor. His brows were furrowed as he looked towards her. His eyes were heavy yet wild with emotion.

She smiled coldly and roughly wiped the tears from her face. “Leave!”

Long FeiLi continued to stare at her as if he didn’t hear.

“Long FeiLi, please leave me with some dignity!”

XuanJi supported herself with the bed as she feebly stood up. She pointed towards the door, gritting her teeth she spat out: “If you don’t trust me then you can have XuXi or XiaSang watch me drink the medicine, anyone is ok, you need to get out of my sight!”

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3 comments:

  1. She is so strong though very gentle ... these historic novels are refreshing but scary to think of were to live in those times ... men are horrific.
    After saying all this hope the angst is followed by heartwarming feelings.

    Thanks for the translation ��

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  2. Thanks for the update!
    No matter how many times I've read this scene in other novels, I still can't accept how one can easily discard a life especially an unborn one in the face of power. I know he has his plans and they originally never included her much less a child (which is another thing I'm pissed at, like if you never loved her and was already prepared to end her family then why did you get entangled with her to begin with?) Just watching how she has to Steele herself and make the decision of killing her unborn child is truly heartbreaking �� and also as she tells him to leave so she can keep her dignity is also sad. For a woman to fall in love with a man back in those times especially the emperor is putting one's elf on the road to ruin. 😢

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  3. This guy...
    What do I even say? I'm just waiting for the part when he suffers...

    ReplyDelete